We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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