I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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