He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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