i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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