4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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