dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is wine microwaveable?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
