She is in my trunk
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
