you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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