Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
