Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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