I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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