so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
