just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
