If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.