Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
