i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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