She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
