Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
