I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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