dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
