She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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