Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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(336): i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets. http://tfl.nu/gfq6

Replies (53) Good night (3831) Bad night (857)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?

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(617): is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again? http://tfl.nu/0m4c

Replies (13) Good night (2740) Bad night (635)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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(617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm

Replies (45) Good night (1560) Bad night (5080)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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(479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq

Replies (20) Good night (1450) Bad night (4423)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

(213): View more from California

so that means christmas in space?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx

Replies (14) Good night (7124) Bad night (1326)
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(503): View more from Oregon

you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

What kind of balloon animal was it?

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(503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1

Replies (12) Good night (2050) Bad night (581)
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(716): View more from New York

it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.

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(716): it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours. http://tfl.nu/lt62

Replies (3) Good night (1661) Bad night (759)
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(440): View more from Ohio

she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even

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(440): she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even http://tfl.nu/5199

Replies (17) Good night (2443) Bad night (1124)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

(940): View more from Texas

Deal.

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(281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y

Replies (14) Good night (2978) Bad night (714)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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(330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9

Replies (11) Good night (1678) Bad night (547)
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(714): View more from California

sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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(714): sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/av7d

Replies (9) Good night (1283) Bad night (879)
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(206): View more from Washington

I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

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(206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik

Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (473)
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(850): View more from Florida

He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.

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(850): He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other. http://tfl.nu/l9kx

Replies (9) Good night (468) Bad night (870)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

It's a short, short story.

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(601): I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex. (1-601): It's a short, short story. http://tfl.nu/1rzv

Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (727)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"

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(765): Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load" http://tfl.nu/71u8

Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (1219)

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