Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing http://tfl.nu/ipht
  Replies (8) Good night (516) Bad night (3169)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night http://tfl.nu/wlim
  Replies (100) Good night (3129) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender. http://tfl.nu/r1fg
  Replies (24) Good night (1878) Bad night (11172)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s
  Replies (47) Good night (4799) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang

  (917): View more from New York City

  really making moves this morning i see

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang (917): really making moves this morning i see http://tfl.nu/4n5c
  Replies (15) Good night (4707) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong http://tfl.nu/7whz
  Replies (28) Good night (1011) Bad night (5960)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself. http://tfl.nu/i5og
  Replies (15) Good night (758) Bad night (3931)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own. http://tfl.nu/6swo
  Replies (5) Good night (2011) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me. http://tfl.nu/du0t
  Replies (13) Good night (3833) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up. http://tfl.nu/oo6k
  Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly http://tfl.nu/0xww
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life. http://tfl.nu/gj8o
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (324) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again?? http://tfl.nu/md65
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (626)

Randomize