It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I FOUND THE LEGS
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.