Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you need to talk to your mom

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

wtf?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you

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(719): View more from Colorado

so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.

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(757): View more from Virginia

if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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(703): View more from Virginia

just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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(416): View more from Toronto

The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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(716): View more from New York

He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

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(330): View more from Ohio

you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall

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