I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
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Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.