i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So. Much. Porn.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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