Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
