We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
