Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
