Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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