the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize