At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
