you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
