can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
