today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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