So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
