I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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