3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
