i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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