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He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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