I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
