Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize