I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
