i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
