Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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