I puked a lego.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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