This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
