So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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