Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
