i wish my penis had a tongue
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize