you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
