KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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