i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Found your dick twin last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
