last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
