he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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