wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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