When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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