Heybabeimwearingurpanties
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You ruined the universe
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
