I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My life is pants optional.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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