I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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