What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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