I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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