Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
