I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
