dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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