i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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