I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
