Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
