Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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