well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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