What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
